


Euphoria

by isleyren



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, BDSM, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Bondage, Dark, Dom/sub, Dominant Kylo Ren, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Fanfiction, Force Bond (Star Wars), Forced Orgasm, Gore, Graphic Description, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Manipulation, Master/Pet, Memory Loss, Multi, No Aftercare, No Fluff, Pet Names, Possessive Kylo Ren, Smut, Submissive Character, Violence, lack of aftercare
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-12 05:28:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29504832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isleyren/pseuds/isleyren
Summary: Kylo x ReaderYou can't remember your past, not even your own name. But you know one thing, that you were good with fixing things. That's what helped you through years, fixing broken things as you tried to find answers from your past, as you tried to understand how you ended up on the silent sand planet. But one day, your life changes. Or rather, your old life continues.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	1. Memories

"Fuck." You grumbled as you brought your now bleeding finger to your mouth, sucking away the flowing blood. The mix of dirt and fresh blood flooded your mouth, but it no longer bothered you, not after years of being stuck on this forgotten sand planet, the never-ending filth that clung to your skin a permanent part of you now. A second skin.

When you first arrived on Jakku, you hated it. You hated everything about it. From the hot climate to the slimy characters. It wasn't a welcoming climate, nor were the people the welcoming kind.

But now it was your home. The only home you had ever known. And none of the small things mattered to you anymore.

You didn't have much, or rather any memory at all of the life you had before you arrived on Jakku. You didn't even know your true age, nor did you know your own name. Not even a blur of the past existed for you.

You only remembered waking up in the middle of the desert planet, surrounded by nothing and no one. Nothing in sight. Nothing but mountains of sand, the wind blowing profoundly.

You remember how the feeling of abandonment and rejection flooded your senses as you glanced around. You remembered how tears flowed freely as you realized your predicament. You were alone with no one to help, no one to guide you or take care of you.

No one who cared.

You were lost. No memory of who you were. No memory of how you got where you were. Tears streamed down your face as you stood up, your muscles aching as you began the long trek in a random direction, silently hoping that you would find someone, something, anything to help you. All you needed was an explanation, a direction. All you needed was some kind of understanding as to where you were, who you were.

Even though you didn't get every answer you so desired, you found enough to create a new life for yourself.

You remembered stumbling into a trading post, eyes scanning the crowd for any sort of reaction. But it appeared that all the life forms didn't care, weren't bothered by your presence. The intense feeling of rejection only growing. But you were strong, and you weren't going to give into that feeling immediately, no matter how strong it pulled at your heartstrings to do so.

So you decided to approach anyone, everyone, until you got at least a sliver of what you were looking for, what you needed.

You walked up to the first person, a young female Togruta. She tilted her head up to look at you, her head tails barely moving as she did. You noticed that they were covered in dirt, as her blank eyes barely focusing on you. You tried to explain your situation, asking for help, but she ignored you, still showing no emotion as she went back to whatever she was busy with before you appeared.

You attempted with a few others, but it didn't work. Nothing was working. The inevitable feeling of hopelessness creeping back in.

You collapsed against the edge of the post, tears threatening to appear once again. Your breathing was fast and shallow as your hands dug into the sand. Your eyes fell shut as panic finally set in.

This couldn't be happening. None of this was happening. It was just a fever dream. You would wake up soon, you would remember who you were. It was all just a terrible dream. None of it was real. It was all a dream. It had to be. It needed to be.

But it was real. It was the reality you were now stuck in, grounded in.

You were lost. No hope. No light. Only darkness consuming you.

But then there was a soft voice.

Your eyes shot open, taking in the humanoid in front of you. He was short, with an orange hue to his wrinkled skin. He was much smaller than you, most likely half your height, but he seemed kind and like he had lived his entire life here. Possibly the person who would be of great help to you.

"Your name?" He asked, soft eyes taking you in.

You only stared, realizing that you didn't even know your name. Your brows furrowed, jaw agape as your eyes fell. He must have noticed your confusion as he spoke again.

"That's okay, Sweetheart." He knelt down in front of you, taking a moment before speaking once again, his voice soft and comforting. "I'll help you." He stood up once again, your eyes glancing back up to meet his.

His dark eyes softened as he looked down at you. "Follow me, kid." He said, a hand reached out towards you.

You didn't grab his hand, but you stood and followed him without question. You weren't sure how you knew he was going to help you, if he would offer you a job or another way to live, but you could feel it in your bones. This male was your salvation. He was going to help you create a life here, give you the answer you so sought.

Wef Jahkeg.

That was his name. The humanoid that gave you a new life. The male that soon became like a father to you.

He helped you to adapt, helped you to learn how to take care of yourself quickly and effectively.

And he was the one you had worked for during the past several years spent on the forgotten sand planet.

He was the one who helped you get where you were today, simply skimming through life with ease.

You spat the mix of blood and dirt on the sand covered floor underneath your feet.

"Watch it girl." You cringed and cursed at yourself as you heard Wef's calm but sturdy voice.

Your gaze drifted from your bleeding finger up towards Wef as he walked around the corner and up to you.

He propped himself on the stool across the worktable from you.

"Show some respect to the shop. I know it's rusty, but it's still my baby."

You smiled at him as he settled in. "Hey Wef, sorry."

"Hey kid. It's okay." He gave you a reassuring smile back. He glanced down at your hand that you were unconsciously cradling.

He pointed down to it. "What's wrong?"

You glanced down, noticing how the bleeding was slowly creeping to a stop. "Oh, it's nothing." You reassured him, glancing back up as you hid your hands under the table. "Just pricked my finger on the edge of the casing."

"Let me see." He offered, reaching his hand out, motioning for your hand.

You hesitated before you reluctantly pulled it back up, placing your hand in his much smaller one. He turned your hand over, examining the small cut at the tip of your finger. He hummed as he examined it, finally glancing back up at you and pushing your hand back.

"Go wash up, kid. Then wrap it up and you can stop for the day. Don't want you to get an infection."

"It'll be fine." You shrugged your shoulders, trying to appear confident. But you knew that your words were only there to reassure yourself. It was a minor cut, and you didn't want to stop the progress you were making on your work. It was a minor repair, but it was on a section of a speeder that had fascinated you when it first arrived at the shop.

Repairs, fixing things, engineering. It was the one thing that had travelled along with you. Despite the lack of any memory, you were able to remember how to repair varying types of machines. That proved helpful in becoming accustom into the life you now had. Working for Wef at his small repair shop.

Despite the lack of many customers, you still loved your job. A slow but sure beginning of loving your simple and lack-luster life on Jakku.

"This can wait. Seriously." He raised his eyebrows at you, giving you that infamous fatherly warning glare before he spoke again. "I'd rather have a fully functioning repairwoman than a part that probably won't even need to be done for another few weeks." He hopped down from the stool. "Now go wash up, don't have forever you know."

You smiled widely as a huff of air escaped you, mimicking a small laugh. "Thanks Wef."

He nodded at you as you stood up, making your way towards the back of the shop.

You dodged the pile of discarded parts as you stepped up to the sink, or rather the small spicket that extended from the wall, the floor underneath it slanted to drain out the open frame that created the back entrance to the shop.

You mustered up as much strength as possible just to spin the knob at the top, the result being only a small bit of water trickling out.

Another problem with living on such a small and dry planet. Water was sparce.

But you didn't let the small amount of dread fill you as you rubbed at the cut, placing it under the small stream of water as you mindlessly cleaned it off.

But a sudden feeling filled you whole, causing your body to freeze. It was a feeling you didn't understand, one that didn't make sense to you.

A mixture of confusion, dread, fear, and longing filled you, consuming your mind and body whole.

Your body felt on fire but so cold all at the same time. Your hairs standing on end. Your skin tingling as a wave of nausea rolled up into your gut. A wind teased at the back of your neck. A low whisper spinning through your mind, then disappearing into the invisible wind.

Then a sharp pain shot through your head, your hands coming up to grasp at your ears as you felt your body let out a scream, but the loud ringing in your ears drowned out the sound.

And then pain, the feeling, the ringing, every was gone. Like it never happened.

You grabbed onto the wall, steadying yourself as you tried to calm your breathing and heart rate.

Your eyes caught Wef as he ran in, his eyes wide as he took you in.

"What's wrong?" His voice was full of worry. "What happened? Are you okay? Is something wrong?"

"I'm fine." You reassured him, finally able to balance on your feet once again. "I just think I'm getting sick, but I'll be fine." You gave him a small smile, but the worry never left his face.

"Okay kid. Let me know if you need anything, you got that?" He pointed a finger at you, his eyes serious.

You nodded at him as another wave of nausea flowed through you, an after effect, most likely, of the whatever the fuck had just happened to you.

You shook your head, trying to calm yourself down. You really didn't want to be paranoid and nauseous right now.

But as you turned to move, you heard an unmistakable sound.

You pulled yourself together as you rushed back towards the front of the shop, stopping dead in your tracks as Wef came skidding to a stop next to you, both sets of eyes staring at the dark mass contrasting with the bright shine of the sky.

You knew it was a First Order ship. A type of ship you had become familiar with from the random visits from Storm Troopers that occurred occasionally, rarely. But they still occurred. It usually meant that they were looking for someone or something, that someone was about to be murdered right in front of your eyes.

Oh, and the First Order. That was something you had learned about from all the stories and legends that Wef would tell you as you both worked, your interest in his ramblings slowly growing. One important thing you did learn was that they were not exactly the kind of people you wanted to get acquainted with. And you definitely never wanted to get in the way their way.

But something felt different about this. What, you couldn't tell.

You watched as the ship moved closer, the shape coming into view. Your eyes widened as you realized there wasn't just one ship, but rather two.

One was smaller than the other, looking somewhat like the Tie Fighter you had messed with. The abandoned one that lay silently in the large pile of trash behind Wef's shop.

But it looked different, unique. Maybe it was a new model. Not that this realization was in the forefront of your mind, rather you couldn't think of anything else but why there was two ships here. They didn't match the other ships that the Troopers normally occupied either. It didn't make any sense. None of this made sense.

Your mind began to race as you watched the two ships land.

And then your heart dropped to your stomach, your breathing halting as you watched the Troopers step out. But it wasn't because of them. It was because of who occupied the smaller ship and who stepped out behind the handful of Troopers.

The dark leather-clad men stopped behind the man who had to be the leader. The dark clothes that covered every inch of his body clung tightly to his large frame. His helmet moving as he scanned the small village that was surrounded by nothing but desert.

He didn't move for a minute, only observing. Then you felt your heart completely stop as he took a step forward.

Your body rendered useless as you were frozen in place, just watching as he began to walk down the row of shops and abandoned homes that made the strip where you and Wef worked and lived.

But you were no longer frozen from fear. Yes, fear was still present and screaming at you do anything but stare, but there was something else. A strong sense of curiosity, and...familiarity. Your eyes scanned the men, your head tilting as your brows furrowed.

Who were they?

Then that same familiarity flooded you. You knew these men. And you knew them much more intimately than anyone else ever could.

Your eyes fell from the leader to the man standing directly to his left. The man with the Scythe attached to his back.

Your breathing was restored as you pulled in an unstable inhale, a rush of memories now flooding your mind, your eyes fluttering as the images flashed behind your eyelids.

The worried look in his light blue eyes. The way he looked behind his shoulder as he ushered you into a small space, an escape pod. The soft touch of his lips on your forehead as he said his final goodbye. The tears that streamed from eyes as he squeezed your hand for the final time. Your pleading as your own vision began to cloud from the copious amount of tears. The way you begged him not to send you off. The way you pleaded with him to let you handle the issue on your own.

The way you begged him not to stay behind.

But it was all too late.

He had already dropped your hand and shut the escape pod before you could fight back.

The memory of how hard you pounded on the small window, screaming as loud as you could, not caring if you would be able to speak later, as you fought against him. Fought against his wishes. Fought against the idea of leaving your brother behind with the most dangerous man in the galaxy. The man who you somehow had fallen for.

The Supreme Leader.

Your brother and your former lover were now walking straight towards you and you were frozen in place.

You were forced to tear your gaze away from the seven men strutting towards you as you felt Wef pulling at your arm.

"Get inside." His eyes were wide with fear as he glanced up at you.

"Wef, what on this gods forsaken planet is happening?" You felt tears threatening to fall down your face.

"They're here for me, you have to follow me. Now." He spun around, pulling you both back into the shelter of the shop.

You followed him wordlessly as he dragged you down a set of stairs, hidden stairs that you had never seen before.

He ran as fast as he could, reaching the bottom in record time before swinging a door open and pushing you inside. Your body crashed against the cold and hard surface of the rock wall before you spun around, your hand stopping the door that Wef was trying to close.

"Tell me what's going on, why are they after you." Your voice was desperate, unstable, as your breathing was heavy.

"That's a long story, kid. But trust me, you don't want to be found by them." He kept glancing over his shoulder, his fear and impatience clear.

But you didn't care. You needed answers, and now.

"Wef, tell me what's going on. Now." You said through gritted teeth, your glare serious as you looked down on him.

You watched his jaw clench as he glanced over his shoulder once more, eyes finally settling back on you.

"Fine." His voice clipped. "You aren't who you think you are, you had a whole life before you got here, and I knew from the second I saw you. I knew who you were, and I took you in, vowing to hide you from the destruction and torture that would have been your life."

The tears began to fall. You had always wanted answers, any kind of explanation as to who you were, but you never imagined that you could have been part of the First Order. You had regained some memories, it clear that the situation you were in was not one that others would consider ideal. But you still had so many questions. So many unanswered wonderings. Your grip tightened against the door frame as your gaze dropped, frustration growing.

Wef continued. "Kid, I'm sorry, but you have to stay hidden. I might not make it out alive, but you have to, you're the only hope we have."

The only hope we have.

What could that mean?

You called out to Wef, but it was too late, he had already shut you away in the cold and dark closet. You were alone once again, no one around, no one to help you, no one to explain.

You dropped to the floor, your knees folding as your ass collided with the hard surface of the floor. You wrapped your arms around your knees, pulling yourself in close as you tried to block out the sounds emanating from above you.

The screams, the cries, the yelling. It was all becoming too much. From the sounds of blasters and deep voices, you knew that they were slaughtering in an attempt to either find you or Wef.

And that thought terrified you.

Tears finally escaped as your body began to convulse with silent sobs. It was all too much. All too soon. All too abrupt. You wanted answers but were beginning to regret that wish. Now all you wanted was to be safe, to live the uneventful life on Jakku that you had come to treasure, maybe even one day love.

You rocked back and forth in an attempt to calm yourself down, but it wasn't working. You stood up, swaying as your tears came to an end, no more sobs shaking your body. You allowed yourself to slide against the rock wall once again, assuming a sitting position as you kept yourself calm.

You remained still, silent, hoping that you couldn't be found, that Wef would be okay. Exercising your patience as you waited. Listened. Really listened.

You weren't sure how long you were hidden away, but silence finally fell upon you. But it wasn't a comforting silence. It was eerie. Too calm, too quiet. Your eyes shot open at the sudden quiet.

You pulled yourself back up to a standing position, wiping away the dried tears on your cheeks before reaching for the door.

You were glad to realize that the door was unlocked, that you could escape. Relief spread through you once you realized that the hallway was clear, knowing that they at least hadn't found this small hidden space.

You cautiously stepped out, eyes wandering around to make sure that you were safe. You let go of the breath you were holding as you pushed your body against the door, slowly and silently shut the door.

You took a moment to gather your breathing, to calm your rapid heartbeat before moving. Your hand dropped from the knob as you took a step away and towards the stairs.

Your eyes were wide as you took small, cautious steps up the stairs and towards the deafening silence, your hands mindlessly clenching and falling limp repeatedly.

You cringed as the door creaked as you opened in, but after a moment with no response, no one grabbing you, no one yelling, you continued. You slide through the threshold once the space was big enough for your body to get through. You glanced around, making sure that there was no one.

And there wasn't.

You were alone. But not just alone in Wef's shop. You were alone on this whole strip. Alone in this whole area. You could sense it, feel it, the consuming oneness.

Despite the desire to just fall down again, you willed yourself forward, searching through the shop, scoping for any damage.

But there was none. Nothing in the shop had been touched or moved or destroyed. So you moved passed it, making your way outside.

And everything outside seemed untouched. There was no sign of struggle, no sign of any bloodshed. Nothing.

Your mind raced with the possibilities. What could have happened. Could all of this have been your imagination. Could it all have been a fever dream.

It didn't feel real. None of it. But it was so devastatingly real.

Something that was soon to be proved.

Your head swung around, body frozen once again as you took in the man who had just spoken to you.

It was the leader of the six other men. But not just any leader. The Supreme Leader. Of the fucking galaxy.

You recognized him. Knew his from your past. Knew who this important man really was.

The man who you once shared a bed with. The man that your brother tried to help you hide from.

With his helmet placed haphazardly next to him, no longer on his shoulders, he glanced up at you.

He sat casually as his fingers ran lightly over the speeder parts that you had been tinkering with earlier that day. Or what it even the same day? That was something you couldn't be sure of, being hidden away for so long.

The black clothing hugged at his muscled arms and torso as he moved slightly, his eyes scanning the scrap metal placed before him.

His eyes rose to meet your wide ones, the infamous amber glow you remembered so well, that used to make you so weak, penetrating into your soul, feeling like he was reading your deepest thoughts. The hue that you so missed. The eyes you used to dream of waking up next to every day.

His hair shifted gracefully as he moved his head towards you. The raven locks peacefully and elegantly falling down to his shoulders. The slight wave somehow unadulterated from the consistent use of his metal helmet. The silky locks that you used to run your hands through as he slept. The soft hair that you used to grasp on to as he did unmentionable things to you.

"Sit." He gestured towards the other side of the table, towards the stool across from him. His voice was soft but demanding. A voice you had heard in many tones, many names fall from, many commands broadcast in. A voice that could be soft and then commanding in a matter of seconds. One that used to make you melt so easily. One that would fill your ear with the most knee-weakening phrases.

He clenched his jaw, his pink and soft lips pressed firmly together as he continued to watch you. The lips that would attack you, caress you, make you forget your own name. The lips that held so much power over you. The lips that had tasted every inch of you. The lips that you craved and could never keep your eyes off of.

He pulled his gloves off as he stood, revealing the soft skin of his hands along with the rough and calloused nature of his fingers. The hands that had explored you. The hands that knew every inch of you. The hands that had brought you to pure pleasure. The hands that would hold you so tightly.

Your eyes rose as he stood to his full height, towering over you. You had forgotten, in the rush of memories, how tall he was. How much his frame towered over you. How big he really was.

Your eyes met his, a softness appearing in them as he reached a hand out towards you.

"Kitten." A small crack evident in his tone. "Come with me."

You couldn't speak. All you could do was watch, marvel at him.

He took another step closer, your body reflexively moving back. A wave of anger flashed across his eyes at your reaction to him.

"I want you back. I need you back."

You racked your brain for what he could mean. You knew man with the Scythe was your brother. You knew you had something with the Supreme Leader of the galaxy. And you remembered how it felt to be with him.

But you couldn't remember a single name, not even your own. You couldn't remember what had caused you to leave. And you couldn't remember what had brought you to him in the first place.

"Kitten." Desperation evident in his tone. "Please." He stepped forward again and this time you didn't move. But you didn't accept.

"I don't know you." You stated, no falter in your voice, a wave of confidence spreading through you, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

His jaw clenched again, as he took another step, now so close that you could feel his body heat emanating from him.

"Stop lying to yourself."

"No." You shot back, never letting your gaze falter, never taking your eyes from his. "You stop lying to yourself. I don't know who you are, I don't know why you're here. Can't you just leave us alone? Can't you just go on and live your privileged life without worrying about us?"

"Not possible." His words were clipped, firm. And it caused your confidence to falter slightly.

"Why?" You shot back.

"Because I need you."

Your brows furrowed. "Why?" You forced out.

"I've been looking for you for years." Years? His hand dropped as your lower lip quivered, more emotions flooding your mind and heart.

Despite the emotions that his single phrase cause, you still didn't have the answer you were looking for. "Why?" You asked, stepping closer to him, your chest now fluttering against his with each breath you took in, your jaw clenching.

His eyes faltered slightly, glancing down at your lips as his parted. He looked desperate. He looked hopeful. But what terrified you most of all was that he looked hungry. And the only thing that could fill that hunger, the only thing that could satisfy that need, was you.

His eyes glanced back up to you, his expression hardening once again.

"Because you're the only reason I have to continue on in my path."

And then it all went black.


	2. Hysteria

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes some manipulation and torture. This won’t be as descriptive as other chapters, but I recommend stop reading if that makes you uncomfortable. This story will contain graphic descriptions of violence and gore, some being directed towards you, the reader. As a reminder, Kylo is mean, aggressive, and very possessive, especially in the beginning. I also updated the tags so please go check those out before you continue on! I hope you enjoy the pure angst that this chapter brings.
> 
> TW: Violence, Torture

Blinding lights. Dim backgrounds.

Blaring sounds. Quiet tones.

Utter nothingness. Vivacious everything.

Your mind was confused, hazy, as you finally awoke. As your mind came to life once again.

But as your eyes blinked away the blurry vision, a hazy and confusing memory played through your mind. It taking place in some kind of medical center. You were being rushed down a bright white hallway. The sterile scent wafting through your nose and into your memory bank. And then there were worried voices filling the air around you. Words you couldn’t make out, but tones you remembered as desperate, loud.

And then you woke up. Darkness and silence surrounding you as soon as you opened your eyes. The stark contrast to your dream.

You huffed as you struggled to push yourself up. You glanced down at your hand as you felt the soft sheets that were placed underneath you. Your mind then focused on the way the duvet above you glided down your torso as you moved to a sitting position.

You let your eyes adjust to the darkness. As your mind became clearer, as you began to fully awaken, terror began to spread through you as you realized where you were. Mostly where you weren’t. And that was back on Jakku. You definitely were no longer on Jakku.

You were in a bedroom. A beautiful, simple, and dark bedroom. There was barely any light, small details hidden behind the mask of darkness. But you could still see outlines of the space around you as you spun around.

It felt familiar, like you had been there before, like this place was familiar to you. But you also didn’t recognize any of it. Didn’t know who it belonged to. Didn’t know why you were there.

You looked around frantically, searching for any extra source of light, any way to give yourself more reassurance that everything would be okay even as you found yourself in this daunting and confusing situation. Your breathing grew shallow as your panic rose, your heart beating against your chest like it was trying to escape the jail your ribs had created. But the panic only increased as you tried to pull yourself from the bed.

Your legs stopped abruptly as your upper body kept plummeting forward. You let out a huff of air as your hands collided with the solid floor, a crack heard somewhere in your arm. But you didn’t pay any mind as your attention had been grabbed by whatever held you down.

You were stuck, strapped in. You were being held prisoner here. It was deceiving. The beauty of the room, the deception of freedom and comfort that it provided you with, despite the growing feeling of worry that ate away at your intestines. But it was all an illusion. You were stuck here, being held prisoner. Had it been the man that you barely remembered? Was it the Supreme Leader that was holding you captive here? If so, what did he want?

“Shit.” You mumbled as you pulled yourself back up into the bed. Tears began to form as you threw the sheet off of you, glancing down at what was strapped around your ankles.

It wasn’t anything fancy, rather looking like something that would strap down any random prisoner, any everyday scum. And it definitely did not look like it belonged in such a beautifully done bedroom.

But what you couldn’t understand was why they were wrapped around your ankles, giving you some freedom to move, but limiting you to only the bed. It didn’t make sense. There wasn’t any rational explanation for it.

You tried to rationalize everything that was happening in your mind. From the terrifyingly confusing interaction on Jakku to the dark and mysterious bedroom that you now laid prisoner in.

But you didn’t have time. You didn’t have time to contemplate and understand before your mind was drawn somewhere else. Your attention caught.

Your head whipped to the side as you heard a blast door fly open. From where you were, you couldn’t see who it was at first, but that tingling against every inch of your skin gave you some indication as to who it was.

You watched as the small sliver of light dissipated as the blast door slammed shut, leaving you and the intruder in the same darkness which you had awoken to.

Your breathing came to a stop as you watched the figure halt in the doorway. His stature was so large that he filled the door frame easily, making you feel so much smaller. His presence alone was domineering. Terrifying. He could command a room easily, you could sense it in the way he held himself.

Your palms started to sweat as you and him both simply sat and watched each other. Your mind was racing with worry, fear. What was about to happen, you weren’t sure. What he wanted you for, you couldn’t be sure of. He was just standing there, staring.

The only movement you could see from him was the slow rise and fall of his chest. From the nearly silent modified sound of his breathe, the only thing that could be heard in the silence, you could tell he had that helmet on. The use of it only making him more inhuman. Lacking any emotion or connection.

And that made your panic only grow.

But you didn’t want to show him that, even though you were nearly certain he could smell the fear emanating from you like it was the perfume you chose to adorn that day. The scent so strong that it was palpable in the air between the two of you. Like it could be severed with a knife.

Your body felt so exposed under his stare, his eyes feeling like fire against your skin. Every possible pore was seeping nervous sweat. You shifted as you began to feel uncomfortable under his gaze. Desperate for it to stop.

You weren’t sure how much time passed as you both remained still, silent. Simply siting in this eerie, uncomfortable silence. But then he began to move.

He took slow and calculated steps towards you, eventually stopping at the foot of the bed.

You watched with wide eyes, your jaw agape, as his head slowly fell, eyes finding your strapped-in ankles. A gloved hand reached out, a single finger sliding along the skin next to the restraint. His touch was hot. His touch like fire against your skin. The leather was smooth, easily gliding against your ankles. The caressing was feather light as he traced the shape of the strap that held your feet down.

But the softness didn’t last long.

You yelped as his strong hand suddenly grasped onto one of your ankles, his grip so tight that you felt the blood begin to dissipate, the numbness slowly creeping up.

“Do you know how long it took me to find you.” His voice was strong. It was a tone a father would use with a child. It was like he was reprimanding you. Like you had forgotten to tell him where you had gone for the night and he was worried, looking for you everywhere.

Prepared to punish you for it.

Your wide eyes only looked up at him, your breathing heavy as your heart began to beat in your throat. Thick and heavy as the pumping of your blood could be heard in the depths of your ears. You only stared, not sure of how to answer him.

“Answer me.” His modified voice growled at you, his shoulders leaning forward as he inched slowly closer to you, his hand still secured around your ankle.

“I—” Another scream as you felt him grip so tight that he could have easily snapped your ankle, breaking several bones. But it soon loosened, him not giving into the desire he had simply to tear you apart. Teach you a lesson.

“You’re mine, you belong to me, and you swore to me that you would stay here, stay with me.”

You couldn’t be sure, but it felt like sadness, regret, possibly even worry, that poisoned his words. That filled his tone. But now wasn’t the time to dwell on the meaning behind his words as he continued his interrogation.

“I—“ You tried to speak again, but you were shaking from fear, words unable to form coherently as your eyes were glued to him, to his helmet.

“What is it Kitten?” His voice a stark contrast from second earlier. His manor suddenly turned soft, sweet. But it wasn’t reassuring. It was condescending, and you knew it. You knew you couldn’t trust him. That he was only trying to manipulate you. To find an answer that you knew you couldn’t give. Because you didn’t have it.

“Why?” You finally managed to get a word out. Despite the various answers you could have received from that one word, and what you could have been referring to from such a simple phrase, you still needed to ask.

Why.

Why were you here? Why was he so adamant on keeping you? Why did he call you Kitten?

“Why what?” He asked, voice still soft yet condescending. His hand began to caress your shin, it rising up towards your thigh, his hand moving closer and closer to the valley between your legs.

“Why am I here?” Your eyes travelled from his hand back to his mask.

“Because you belong to me, and this is where you have to be.” He stated it like it was a known fact. Like it was the most ridiculous question he had ever heard. Like the answer was supposed to be blatantly obvious to you.

“But why _me_?” You emphasized your last word, hoping that he would understand. That he would be able to read your confusion. Your lack of knowledge.

“Because you’re the one I chose.” His words were clipped as he straightened out to his full height. He continued to glare down at you. Even though you couldn’t see his eyes, you felt the way that they bore holes into you, burning the flesh as he peered into your soul.

You began to shift under his gaze, suddenly aware of the lack of proper clothing that covered a small amount of your skin, only a thin and torn fabric that created the shirt and shorts that you had worn most of your life on Jakku.

You shifted uncomfortably under his gaze as you became aware, once again, of the way that you couldn’t move, couldn’t get away, of how you didn’t know where you were, or really who he was. You may have known his title, but you still didn’t know who he _really_ was. Not under all that armor.

And just like he had read your mind, his hands came up, gripping the side of his helmet. The hiss of it unlocking filled the room, the only sound beside your heavy breathing.

You watched the helmet fall to the ground with a loud and solid thud. Your body jolted from the crashing against the floor, causing your eyes to shoot back up to his uncovered face.

His expression was stoic, unreadable, as he gazed down at you. He stood there for a moment, just letting his naked eyes glide across you, a calm and collected expression masking his thoughts as he took in every inch, taking his time as to not miss a single thing.

Your heart was racing, unable to slow down, making its way up your throat and nearly falling out of your mouth as you tried to calm your thoughts. But that tasked proved to be impossible. Your mind was racing. Every possibility, every thought that you could have conceived, every attempt to rationalize the situation was swimming in your mind. They were all fighting, trying to take dominance of your thoughts. Trying to be the most reasonable explanation. But all of them failed. All of them proved to be just as useless as the other. Just as unrealistic and ridiculous.

But your mind was also blank. A clean slate on which to collect answers. On which to collect information from your surroundings, from your future interactions. And although that idea terrified you, it was also thrilling. Thrilling to know that you would soon find the answers you sought for years. Find the answers that would fill in the blanks of your past life. The answers that would make you who you were once again.

All of that, the delicate and thriving contrast in your mind, continued as you kept your eyes on him. The mixture of terror and curiosity eating at you as a tingling sensation rose up your spine.

He then stepped closer to your head, his thigh sliding across the edge of the mattress as he reached his hand out. The leather was cool to the touch as it lightly grazed across your forearm, small bumps rising in reaction.

A rush of confidence filled your bones, flew through your blood as you looked back up to him. Your eyes met his dark amber ones, the darkness of the room only making them look black, lifeless but full of something you couldn’t name.

You stared for a moment. Taking him in. His dark hair was groomed perfectly, small waves falling down as his head was tilted towards you. His eyes didn’t show much, or any, emotions as they stayed on yours.

The power he radiated only made your confidence begin to wane as you looked onto him. But before it could dissipate totally, you spoke.

“Why am I tied down? Why not just let me be free? Why am I not allowed to leave this bed?” Your eyes blurred as they began to fill with tears, desperation seeping into your words.

His brows furrowed in confusion, his head tilting as he contemplated your question, acting like it was, again, the most ridiculous question he had ever heard. But you didn’t know the answer. You needed to know the answer. It was eating you alive. Consuming you from the inside out.

He slowly lowered himself until his head was almost level with yours, his large body hunched next to the mattress. Next to you.

His voice was low, tone condescending and domineering once again as he spoke his next words. As he gave you a small sliver into who you used to be.

“Because you’re my fucking slave.”

Your heart stopped. Your breathing stopped. You couldn’t think, you couldn’t speak. You couldn’t even blink.

His slave.

You were the Supreme Leader’s fucking slave.

As your mind ran circles around that idea, that little notion, he stood, taking a step back as he just observed you. Watched as you thought. Contemplated his words. With a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips.

“H-How?” Your voice was a whisper, unstable as you forced the syllable past your lips.

“You gave in. You offered yourself to me.” He leaned down again. “Your.” A pause. “ _Whole_ self.” His breath ghosted over the skin beneath your ear, sending a shiver down your spine, a need to your center, as your eyes closed, turning to expose more of your neck to him. The hot air causing you to let out a small bit of air through your lips. An air of curiosity. Wonder. Desperation.

It was enthralling to you, just how powerful this man was. He could have you fearing death one minute and the next you’re nothing but a pile of want and need. You had to admit, he knew how to get exactly what he wanted. And it appeared in this moment, he wanted you.

“But you still don’t remember, do you Kitten?”

Your eyes opened again, his face much closer to yours than you expected. But you didn’t flinch. Didn’t even move a single inch as you simply gazed into his searing eyes.

“No.” You breathed out.

“Looks like you’ll just need a permanent reminder, don’t you think?” He asked as the side of his lips were pulled into a wicked smile, a knowing and devious look behind his dark eyes.

That’s when your eerie calm turned into bright panic. What could those words mean? Permanent? A reminder?

Your body jumped, the bed making the slightest creaking noise underneath you as moved. All a reaction to his sudden movements.

The red glow of his now lit saber illuminated the space around you. Made the small details more evident. Made his devious grin more menacing.

You watched the glow of red in his eyes as he stepped closer, raising the saber and scanning it over your body.

You froze. Unable to get any part of you to move as you watched the searing hot weapon glide through the air, so close to your exposed skin.

Once the saber had passed over your head, he swung it behind him, avoiding every object with ease as he reached out.

Your body jolted as he grabbed the thin fabric of the already torn shirt, easily and efficiently tearing it off of you, discarding of it like it meant nothing to him. Like he did things like this regularly. A fact you weren’t so tempted to dismiss immediately.

You clenched your jaw, effectively biting the inside of your cheek as your eyes shut. You were now bare to him, the only thing left to cover you was the pathetic piece of fabric that you called shorts. A piece of clothing that was also torn and covered in dirt.

But your torso, your chest, was all exposed to the curious eyes of the Supreme Leader.

Your arms moved to cover yourself, but as soon as you did, they were glued to the sheets beside you. You struggled against the invisible hold, but it was impossible to have a fair fight against it. The humming of his Force signature filling your ears as tears formed once again.

“Open your eyes.” He ordered, and you couldn’t help but obey, terrified of the consequences if you didn’t.

He was hovering over you, the front of his thighs shoved against the side of the mattress.

The lightsaber was once again humming above you. The crackling sound filling your ears as you began to feel the heat emanating from it. Sweat began to form on your brow as your eyes remained on the saber, wide and full of fear as you couldn’t even begin to comprehend what his next actions would entail.

Then before you knew it, the blade was against your bare skin, searing into your stomach.

Your back arched as your eyes clamped shut, your jaw falling agape as an ear-shattering scream tore from your throat. Your body shook as the pain continued, as the branding never ended.

Tears fell from your eyes as your ears began to ring, drowning out the sound of your screams and cries. Your nose even began to get used to the smell of burning skin as he continued to permanently remind you who he was. And who you were. Or rather, used to be.

But eventually the pain got bearable. Eventually your body got used to the ministrations. To the branding.

Your cries began to dimmish. Your mind beginning to lose all thoughts. To simply…go blank.

You could no longer feel the pain. No longer hear the crackling sound of his lightsaber. There was absolute nothingness. Absolute calm as your mind shut off. As you ceased to possess your own body.

Your vision darkened, your breathing slowing. A small hiccup erupted as your eyes finally shut for the final time. Darkness taking over.

And then a memory hit you, crashing into your mind like a tidal wave.

You remembered standing at the threshold of a dark room. A still silence filling the hallway around you. You had glanced around the area in which you stood, shifting from one foot to the other as you waited for something. Waited for something significant. You had something important to tell him. Something that required this secret meeting.

But you remembered that it wasn’t the first secret meeting. It was just one of many. One of many times you snuck away, hiding from your peers, from your brother. A secret hideaway, a secret affair that was so much more. So much more to you than you had ever cared to admit.

And then he had appeared.

The Supreme Leader had stood before you. His lips had been pulled up into the same devilish smirk you had seen in the dark bedroom your lifeless body currently resided in.

You remembered how your eyes fell to his outstretched hand. You remembered as your hand reached out, finding solace in his, in his warmth, in his strength.

You remembered how he pulled you in, pulled you past that threshold and into his arms.

Without further notice, you had been pushed against a wall. His warm lips had attacked yours, attacked your chin and moved to lick a warm strip up your pulse. That had caused you to moan. You then remembered all of the parts of you those lips and tongue had explored. Every inch of your body that he knew intimately.

“I see you made your decision.” His words were as clear in your memory as they were back then. Back when you knew him.

“Kylo.” You remembered giggling his name.

His name. You remembered his name.

Kylo.

It was now seared into your mind. Just like it had been back then. Back when you knew him. _Really_ knew him.

That small piece of information pulled you closer to him. Made you ignite the flame that would forge that connection once again.

But that wasn’t where your memory stopped.

You had spoken something. The memory was hazy at first. The scene blurred from your subconscious focus on his name. The name of the man who you would forever have this unbreakable bond with.

But you did hear something. Remembered something.

And then you heard it as the memory became clear once again. And his words from earlier made sense. Another small connection in the large web of entangled and forgotten memories.

“I’m yours.” Your words had been light, barely heard as you moaned them out.

“What exactly are you?” He had asked between the attack is lips, tongue, and teeth brought upon your supple skin.

“Your…” Your words had stumbled between moans, the words difficult to express when that familiar pleasure ravaged your mind and body. “Your slave.”

He wasn’t lying. You had agreed to this. You had agreed to be his. To be his forever. To submit to him fully. To give your life to him.

To be his slave.

“I’m all yours.” Your memory crammed those few words into your mind once again. “I’m all yours. Every piece of me. I belong to you.” Those words echoed in your mind, echoed through your memory as you were pulled out. As your mind began to clear, hurtling you back to reality.

You gasped as you came back to the current, your eyes shooting open, your head coming up.

“Kylo.” You gasped out, your breathing heavy as your vision began to clear.

Kylo stopped. His eyes quickly turning to you as he finally lifted the saber off of your stomach.

Your eyes meet his.

“I remember you.” Your words were low, but you knew he could hear you. You could see his reaction to you voicing his name. To you remembering.

“I remember.” Your voice was still unstable, faltering as your eyes stayed on his.

“Kylo.” You said again, his body unmoving, frozen.

“Kylo.” You murmured again, mostly to yourself, as your head fell, still unable to move your body. Whether or not that was from the physical restraints and Force hold he had on you or from the strength your limbs lacked. None of it mattered.

All that mattered was that your memories were coming back. That you were gaining the answers you needed.

Your breathing was ragged as you fought to keep your eyes open. But it was no longer hard as you heard him finally speak.

“Seems the reminder worked.” The self-absorbed tone was evident in his voice as you opened your eyes.

The reminder. You had almost forgotten about the torment your physical body had just endured. And you felt the sudden need to see what would be a permanent part of you now.

Your head felt immensely heavy as you picked it up, glancing down at your abdomen.   
A chocked cry fell from your now raw throat as you looked upon the reminder he had chosen.

The burnt skin was raw and dark. The leather texture making you feel nauseous. That was what you had just endured. That’s what would be part of you forever.

Your stomach moved as you tried to keep your breathing calm. It was clear what he wanted to remind you of.

Of him. Of his name. Of who you were.

You couldn’t take your eyes off of the etching of his name written by the blade of his saber, the four letters written so that you only had to glance down. An assured way you would never forget him ever again.

His fucking name burned into your abdomen.

If you weren’t so tired and worn out, if you hadn’t felt so exhausted and in desperate need for a shower and a long nap, you would have fought back. If your throat wasn’t raw, if your voice had worked, you would have screamed. You would have told him that you shouldn’t be his slave. That you shouldn’t be tied down because you didn’t remember everything. Because you didn’t remember what you had agreed to.

But your body was tired. You were the definition of exhausted. You needed an out. You needed time to rest.

Your head fell back as a muffled sob shook your chest.

And then a laugh.

A laugh that shook your shoulders.

Your tired eyes roamed the dark ceiling above you as your lips curved up into a smile of disbelief.

And then your body began to shake with more laughter, with more intensity as you were now clutching at the sheets. You couldn’t stop the laughter as it poured out of you. Pure hysteria taking over as you tried to rationalize the events that just occurred. As you tried to rationalize that memory. As you tried to understand what your life was. What it was now.

And all you did was laugh. All you could do was laugh.

And that was the moment your hysteria took over.

That was the moment your mind fell apart as it tried to put itself back together.

Small and shattered piece by small and shattered piece.


	3. Vigor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then there was smut. Before you read on, keep in mind that there are points where there is serious dubious consent, but everything is consensual, I promise. But if something makes you uncomfortable, first, don't read further (and make sure you don't get yourself into that situation by checking out the tags in the intro) and second, feel free to contact me. My DMs are always open on twitter (@isleyren). 
> 
> TW: Serious dubious consent, Multiple orgasms

You weren't sure how long you had sat in that room. Alone. Eyes heavy and thick from the copious amount of tears. Throat raw from cries and hysteric laughter. Body tender and sore from the hell it had endured at the hand of Kylo Ren.

The lack of light made the minutes, hours, days, bleed together into one painstakingly silent solitude.

You hadn't eaten. Hadn't taken a single sip of water. Hadn't spoken a word. There was no interaction. No one to check up on you. No one who cared enough to make sure you were still alive.

Which, much to your surprise, you were. Still alive, despite the fact that all coherent thought had left your mind. Despite the fact that you had lacked the basic necessities for survival.

All thought, whether coherent or incoherent, had left your mind.

You sat there, eyes glued to the ceiling above you, as your mind sat blank. You could only hear the sound of your breathing. The low hum of whatever provided artificial life within the room.

There was nothing else. No sound of blast doors opening. No heavy footsteps. No low rumble indicating that you were on a ship. No murmuring of someone speaking.

The only thing that sat in your mind was the vague memory of your last interaction with Kylo. With how it ended.

The hysterical laughing. The searing pain that made you ache. The glare on his face, the anger in his eyes, as he looked down on you. The way he had called you his slave. That you belonged to him. That you were his property.

And somehow, you didn't mind. You didn't care about being his slave. Not at this point anyway. Chalk it up to simply wanting to learn, wanting to know why you had agreed to it initially. Or blame it on not being in the right state of mind, but you didn't feel that need to run away. You didn't feel the desire to pull all your strength together and run.

In your delirious stare, in the lack of thinking, you finally heard a new noise, a sound so loud it caused your ears to ache.

The screech of the blast door made you cringe. The sound was a stark contrast from the silence you had been sitting in.

Your tired and sore eyes drifted to the side along with the turning of your head in the direction of the noise.

You didn't react, didn't flinch, didn't move as you watched Kylo waltz back into the room.

He appeared frustrated, annoyed, as he paced back and forth, mumbling something to himself.

Eventually, he stopped, taking off his helmet and throwing it across the room. It collided against the wall with a loud crash. But your body still didn't jolt. You simply watched as it fell to the ground with a low thud. As it rolled to a stop near his feet.

Your eyes roamed back up his strong frame. Landing on the wide shoulders that tugged against the dark clothing he wore. You couldn't take your eyes off of his thick frame, his wide shoulders, the muscles that pulled perfectly against the fabric.

This man was large. And he was gorgeous.

Even in his fit of anger, he sent a wave of warmth through you, a wave of need.

You had a familiar emotion of want and desire to feel him, really feel him. Maybe it was an inclination to your past, of how you had this need to please him, to make him feel good. And it was beginning to consume you once again.

You wanted to take away his stress. You wanted to make him feel better. To use you. To use you as a way to relieve his pent-up stress and anger.

But then the wave of need left you, making your mind reel, making your breathing heavy as you tried to understand what that feeling was.

After a moment, you glanced back up to him, eyes locking with his. He had been watching you as you thought. As you tried to understand that feeling. That foreign yet so familiar desire.

Your eyes remained on his as he stalked towards you, a light coming on randomly once he stopped in front of you. Your eyes blinked rapidly, trying to adjust to the newfound light.

But once they adjusted, you could now take in his strong features. His amber eyes were toxic and full of anger, but also emanated a sense calmness. Of strength.

His dark locks were silky and slightly askew from his helmet. It hung down, stopping just above his shoulders. It appeared so soft, but dirty, messy, nearly drenched in sweat. You wanted to help him clean it. You wanted to run your fingers through it, pulling it in your rush of pleasure.

His breathing was heavy, his shoulders dramatically rising and falling with each inhale and exhale. His lips were slightly parted, as he looked down at your body with a feral hunger.

You took a sharp inhale as his hand rose, sliding the sheet down your body slowly, revealing your still exposed skin.

You shivered slightly as your eyes remained on him as his eyes roamed the pale skin that covered your bones. The pale skin that was still sore and raw.

There was no sound except for breathing, except for the small smack of him pulling of his leather glove. Your eyes didn't move. The only reaction coming from you was the whisper of a sharp inhale as you felt his warm fingers on your skin.

His finger slowly and softly traced the now healing skin, outlining the letters of his name that were permanently burned into you.

The moment was intimate, sweet, and you weren't sure how to feel. You couldn't even be sure if it was real or your imagination simply trying to calm you from the panic rising in your chest at the realization that you were completely and utterly alone.

And then his hand travelled lower. His two fingers played at the waistband of your shorts, the warmth emanating from them filling you whole, your eyes finally leaving his and they wandered down to watch his teasing.

You felt a warmth grow in your core, wetness collecting as his fingers moved down, so slowly, centimeter by centimeter. You wanted him to go faster. You wanted him to stop his teasing.

A gasp fell from you as your back arched, head falling back and your eyes closing as a hard exhale of pleasure fell from your lips as he finally reached the desired destination.

He was pushing hard at your bundle of nerves, it swollen and throbbing for more.

And he only pressed harder as his eyes watched each and every reaction that came from you.

He eventually moved his fingers, gliding down along your folds as he slightly curled his fingers, collecting the arousal that was pooling.

"Oh, Kitten." He murmured. Your eyes opened, breathing still heavy as your legs twitched, eyes meeting his as he spoke. "So wet for me. So needy." His words were full of venom, relentlessly taunting you.

Your center felt cold as he pulled his fingers away. But the warmth was replaced by your continuously pooling arousal as you watched his next action with wide and curious eyes.

He hummed as he placed the two soaked fingers in his mouth, his tongue darting out to pull them in. His eyes fell shut as a vibration, a hum, rose from this throat as he sucked his own fingers clean of your wetness.

It was mesmerizing, tantalizing to watch. You couldn't peel your eyes away as you watched his full lips tight around his fingers. Your body was frozen to the mattress as you realized you now wanted those lips on you. Those lips on any inch of your body that he so desired them to explore.

He finally pulled his fingers free, a loud smack followed by a trail of saliva connecting his fingers to his lips.

And then his other, still glove-covered, hand was back on you. He slid his hand past the hem of your shorts once again, finding that wetness that had only increased since his touch left. He pushed his thick fingers past your folds, teasing at your entrance.

"You taste so good." He hummed as he leaned over you, his free hand resting at the side of your head. You could smell yourself still on his hand, the scent making you involuntarily clench. Making your more needy for him.

Your eyes shut as your back arched, your hips bucking up to find more friction, to force his fingers inside of you.

But it didn't work.

He only pulled away enough that you could still feel his hand but not revel in his touch.

"So desperate. So needy." He hummed, whispering his words into your ear.

Your eyes opened, realizing how close he was to you. His body heat fell from him and onto you as you felt his fingers press against you once again, tracing slow and calculated circles around your entrance.

"Now, I'm feeling a little stressed." A pause. "And you're going to help me release that tension. Understand Kitten?"

His head rose so that he could look into your eyes as he waited on your answer. You nodded. A response that was clearly desperate.

"Say it out loud slut. Do. You. Understand?" With each emphasized syllable, he swiped his gloved fingertip along your sensitive nerves, making you flinch.

"Y-yes." You croaked out, biting against your cheek to not let out the sound of pleasure that threatened to escape your lips.

"Good girl." He spoke, his words feeling rushed.

A long and low inhale of air expanded into your lungs as your eyes widened. He had only pushed two fingers in, but you already felt so full. He pushed them in slowly at first, then with a final thrust, he was in you knuckle deep, not moving.

You unconsciously clenched around him, causing a laugh to spill from his throat.

"So desperate, aren't you Kitten? My little whore. My fucking slave."

His words should have pulled at your emotions, should have put you off and made you fight back, show him you were your own person, that you didn't belong to anyone. But you were defenseless against his magical touch. At the way he seemed to know the ins and outs of your body. Of what you needed most.

You only moaned in response. Your body was already so close to that release of pure pleasure. He was playing your body like a fine-tuned instrument. He knew just was parts to attack, just how to curl his fingers, how much pressure to place on your sensitive nub. All so that he could pull that special reaction from you. So that he could play you how he wanted to.

Your body jolted as he applied more pressure to your bundle of nerves, fingers scrapping along the infamous spot of pleasure inside of you. And with that last bit of pressure, pain, with that last string he plucked in the instrument that was your body, the small pocket of warmth deep in your stomach burst with a new intensity.

Your vision blurred, eyelids becoming heavy as your body convulsed. Every sound around you faded away as you a small ringing filled your ears as you gasped, holding your body tight as you rode out your orgasm, the motions of his fingers helping it last as long as possible.

But it had to come to an end.

Your body loosened. Your shoulders dropped down as your entire body went limp. You didn't move as you felt him remove his fingers from you, and you didn't give a second thought to the heat of his body leaving you.

That wasn't until you felt his hand against your side, and then you were suddenly on your stomach.

You yelped at the sudden movement, your noise being consumed by the fabric of the pillow that rested underneath you. His hand came up and grasped at the back of your head, interlacing with your hair.

He pulled your head up, leaning down to whisper in your ear.

"Now don't make a sound as I fuck that tight cunt of yours raw."

You bit your tongue as to not squeal, trying your best to squeeze your legs together, but he wasn't having it.

You heard the click of the straps around your ankles being undone before he grabbed at your thigh, pulling your knee up to your chest. Your instinct was to push it back down, to hide yourself from him, but that familiar invisible hum caught you, pinning your leg there, near your chest.

And then he did the same thing with the other leg.

Your body had given into his manipulations. You let his hands grab onto you, moving your limbs until he had you just where he wanted you.

You could hear the sheets shift under him as he moved back. You could feel the fire of his eyes burning into you as he just observed.

You were now laying on the bed, chest and face shoved into the pillow as your legs were tucked underneath your torso, ass high in the air.

Kylo reached forward, wrapping his hand around the waistband of your pants, tearing them off in one effortless tug.

You clenched your jaw, clenching your center around nothing as you could feel his heated and hungry stare on you, your cheeks turning bright red with embarrassment.

His hand rose, gliding down the supple skin of your ass as he hummed in satisfaction.

"I'm going to make you cum so many times you won't even remember my name."

A serious notion, given that it was literally branded onto your abdomen. And so you shivered. Shivered at the idea of what he could mean by that. Exactly how he would begin to make you such a mess that you wouldn't be able to call out his name, that you wouldn't be able to even remember it.

And then any and all thoughts left your mind as you felt his three fingers shove into you hard.

"I'm going to make you cum on my hand again." He growled into your ear through gritted teeth. "And then I'm going to make you cum around my cock."

Your body jolted forward as you tried to listen to his words, but the tearing open of your entrance was clouding your mind. The searing pain started at the sensitive skin of your center and spread to the inside of your thighs and up towards your stomach.

A low cry fell from your lips. A hard smack to your ass as he kept the brutal pace of his pumping fingers.

"I don't want you to make a noise." He nearly yelled.

You bit into the softness of the pillow underneath you, silently begging yourself to keep it together enough to not fuel his anger.

But a part of you wanted to entice him, to make him even more angry. You were curious to see what he would do. Just how he would go about punishing you. Just how violent he could become.

Your mind was immediately back on his ministrations as he curled his fingers aggressively inside of you. You tried your best not to cry out as you felt that heat rise in you once again, coming increasingly fast, and there was nothing you could do to stop it before it ripped through you.

Your body convulsed, uncontrolled. You wanted to scream, wanted to let out the sounds of pleasure that stuck in your throat, but you were terrified. You didn't want him to harm you any further if you disobeyed his direct order to stay quiet.

So you stayed quiet. You bit into your cheek so hard that you felt the skin break, swallowing the heavy taste of the blood that filled your mouth.

And then your limbs gave out, no longer having any strength to hold your body up.

He pulled his gloved fingers out, flipping you over onto your back. You didn't fight back. You couldn't fight back. Your eyelids felt heavy as you fought to keep them up, to not close your eyes and give into the need to sleep.

And then his fingers were inside of you once again. You weren't sure how much more you could handle at this point, your center already so incredible sensitive and sore. But you didn't want to fight him. You wanted to help him to release that tension that he held. You didn't want to be the reason that he took it out on someone else.

You didn't mind being his toy, even though you weren't in the right state of mind to make that decision. What you needed right now was to get through the pain. You needed to push past this and then maybe he would give you what you needed.

You would let him use you however he saw fit, but you were prepared to bargain for what you needed. So you would let him use you now, and then you would use him later.

That was what you had determined. You weren't going to be his slave. You weren't going to give into him like you had in your previous life.

You were a changed woman.

So your resolve hardened as you pulled the last bit of strength left in your nearly lifeless body as you felt your third release barreling towards you.

And it hit you with the same fervor as the other two. Your body shook as you kept your lips sealed, not a single sound leaving you.

But your strength was diminishing quickly.

Your body was so exhausted, you were so sleep deprived and in need of sufficient food and water, that you couldn't focus on what was happening around you anymore.

You didn't see what Kylo was doing. You didn't feel the mattress move underneath you as Kylo adjusted himself. But the roar of pain as you were spread wide open brought a new sense of life into you.

You heard him groan lewdly once his length was fully seated inside of you.

Now you remembered one reason why you didn't mind being his slave initially. He was well-endowed and knew how to use it.

You could feel him in your stomach as he sat there for a moment, simply feeling your warmth and you feeling full.

Eventually, he pulled back, thrusting hard back into you.

He continued those slow motions for a few minutes, shallow but hard breathes leaving his lips as you watched him.

His hair was hanging around his face, creating a curtain that hid his expressions. But you could see him so well. His lips were slightly parted, his brows furrowed in pleasure. His cheeks had a hint of red from the effort. Small noises fell from his lips as his eyes were focused on where your two bodies met.

And you couldn't help but realize he looked beautiful like this.

And then he slammed in one more time, hitting just where you needed it.

You couldn't help the moan that ripped out of your chest, flying past your lips before you could bite it back.

And then a sting spread through your cheek, down your neck.

You didn't register it at first, didn't realize what happened, until it happened again.

His hand came down across your cheek, causing your head to fall to the side, the leather making a cracking sound as it came in contact with your skin.

The pain only sent more heat, more desire, down to your core. It made you want to please him. Made you want to bring his own release upon him.

"I said don't make a fucking sound, whore." He spit down at you as he continued to thrust hard into you. "Fuck!" He yelled as you clenched around him, milking him as you felt the mountain of pleasure building back up.

His motions got faster, hitting your sweet spot just right. You watched his jaw clench tightly, the muscles in his face contorting before your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

Your body shook with as much vigor as possible as it filled with warm pleasure. And as your eyes fell back, your body no longer was where your mind resided.

Another memory filled your pleasure-fogged mind.

You remembered a random moment, a moment you couldn't be sure when it was. But it was an intimate moment. A moment that you wanted to treasure forever. A moment that you knew wouldn't be something you would forget any time soon.

You remembered you and Kylo were laying in the same position you were now. Kylo still seated inside of you as you both relaxed back to reality after the intense heat you both had just shared.

He had looked down at you, eyes dancing across your face. You remembered feeling so many emotions in that moment. A tear streaming down your face. And then more, a whole onslaught of tears streaming down as you looked up into his eyes.

And in that moment, the look in his eyes changed from power to concern. He had been worried about you.

And as tears had fallen from your face, he leaned down and kissed away each tear. He had made sure that your tears were gone. That you were okay.

And in that moment, that exact moment, you had realized that you whole heartedly loved him.

But the memory, that special moment, didn't last long.

Your body came tumbling back to reality as your eyes finally opened once again. You just looked into his emotionless eyes as you realized that the memory wasn't your reality now. It wasn't that easy. You couldn't be that happy with the man who now hovered over you.

And as you came back you realized that you didn't know if any noises fell from your lips, not that you cared, not that you could even attempt to control your reactions at this point.

All you wanted was out. All you wanted was to be treated like a person. Not to be treated as his sex slave.

And so your eyes portrayed no emotions as you glanced back up to him, trying your best to match his expression. To match his power.

And you held it for a moment. And then you won.

He pulled out of you, tucking himself away as he stepped off the bed and back towards the door.

But he paused, stopping just before the threshold before looking back to you.

He watched you for a moment before stepping to another door in the room, swinging it open and grabbing something that you couldn't see. That was until a long-sleeved black shirt landed on your lab.

"Put it on." He commanded as he picked up his helmet, placing it back on his head.

You picked up the sweater, holding it in your hands as you looked up at him, confusion plastered on your face.

"If you want to eat, you'll put it on." His modified voice pushed you into action.

You flung the shirt over your body with a newfound strength. But pulling yourself out of the bed proved harder than expected.

Your legs were weak underneath you. You were unable to place your full weight on them without falling over. And you were incredibly sore already. A searing pain shot through your core as you tried to move, tried to steady yourself.

Kylo appeared frustrated and he stormed over to you, wrapping his large hand around the back of your neck.

You cried out as you felt the tips of his fingers digging into the side of your neck as he picked you up.

You grasped at his arm, crying for him to stop, to let you go. But he didn't listen. He held you that way as he stepped out of the bedroom and towards the entrance of the quarters you had stayed in.

You didn't get much chance to glance around, but what you did see matched the decorations of the bedroom. Simple and dark.

As the blast door swung open with a loud hiss, your eyes immediately shut, not ready for the bright light that they were met with.

The light in the hallway so bright and unwelcoming as he stepped out of the quarters, still gripping tightly onto you.

You kept your eyes tightly shut as he dragged you, trying to breath through the pain. Your hands clawed at his arm, tears falling from your eyes as you could feel the bruises already forming, the blood vessels as the broke and spilled out just at the touch of his fingertips.

You couldn't think about where he was taking you. You couldn't bring your mind to wonder when all you could feel was pain. Pain from his hand. Pain from the bright lights. Pain in your stomach from the hunger. Pain in your center from his torments.

And then pain in your knees as he threw you on the ground.

"Give her food and water." You barely heard his clipped words as the sound of your pumping blood filled your ears. Your breathing was heavy and ragged as you tried to collect yourself.

Eventually you let your eyes rise. And then they grew wide and what sat before you. Or rather, who sat before you.

Six men covered in black-gray clothing sat in from of you. Each spewed confidence. Each had their own personalized weapon. Each had their face hidden behind a mask, expressions unable to be read. Terror filled you as you glanced up at them, still on your hands and knees, most likely covered in blood and sweat, simply skin and bones.

But your eyes found the man with the Scythe. The man that you knew. The man that you called your brother.

Vicrul.


End file.
